In 2010, I began talking at workshops and conference presentations, and most recently in the book “Eyes Wide Open: Help! with Control Freak Co-Parents” about coercive control. For those of you with many years in the domestic violence movement, you will recognize these patterns from the power and control wheel. Why the change in language? Domestic violence is still thought by many nondomestic violence professionals and the average person on the street as strictly “physical violence”. Sometimes “emotional abuse” is acknowledged as well.
However, those experienced in domestic violence dynamics know there are many other tactics abusers use. The term coercive control was explained in depth by Evan Stark in “Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life” in 2007. He defines coercive control as a “Pattern of oppression…an offense to liberty that prevents women from freely developing their personhood, utilizing their capacities, or practicing citizenship, consequences they experience as entrapment.” (pg. 4) Stark explained the multiple coercive control tactics through case studies to show the impact on the lives of abusers’ victims.
Since I started working with protective parents (primarily mothers), I have identified how coercive control tactics are patterns that continue after the adult relationship ends. These patterns are used to maintain control through the children, litigation of child custody (parenting time) proceedings, and marital dissolution. Very often, I see the coercive control tactics used at a minimum until all the children reach the age of majority, and sometimes beyond that, when children are manipulated by the abuser as adults.
Learn more about how coercive control tactics are used by co-parent abusers, in “Eyes Wide Open: Help! with Control Freak Co-parents” now available in print and Kindle versions here. Case studies provide a look at how abusers use the 15 coercive control tactics. Assessments allow you to determine some of the specific behaviors abusers use in each of the tactics. Also, you can determine the frequency and severity of tactics used. Utilize the assessments to guide your work with parents who are being coercively controlled.
Until next time,
Debra Wingfield
P.S. To learn more about coercive control tactics and how to use interpersonal violence assessment, check out our training courses at http://houseofpeacepubs.com/dv-training.htm
P.P.S. Find instructions to download the 
Kindle app for PC and tablets on the Amazon.com book page if you want this version of the book.