Three Trauma Issues Domestic Violence Victims Experience

Three Trauma Issues Domestic Violence Victims Experience include living daily with an abuser who engages in Coercive Control Tactics, Physical, and Sexual abuse; trauma surrounding victims escape to safety with or without her children; and being a Protective Mother during separation/divorce proceedings to keep her children from harm by the abuser.

 

• Daily life filled with negative anticipation, fear, and uncertainty is normal for a domestic violence victim. Abusers use a pattern of coercive control tactics mixed with physical and sexual abuse to constantly keep the victim in a heightened state of alertness. This state of never knowing what the next move of the abuser will be makes it very difficult for the victim to live her life outside the strictures established by the abuser.  Very often, we find the victim staying in the relationship because of the coercive controlling tactics of the abuser. She reasons “I can take the abuse so long as it doesn’t hurt my children”.  When she does discover her children are also being abused, the next trauma occurs.

 

• Escape to safety occurs most often when the mother realizes her children are being abused. Her attempts to keep the abuser from physically or sexually abusing the children have failed. She leaves with the children to protect them from further abuse. Her desire is to find the help within the community to provide the safety she was unable to do alone. Very often, this includes going to a safe house or women’s shelter and filing for a restraining order through the civil courts. If she has physical injuries, a criminal case may be filed by local law enforcement. Totally uprooting her children and her own life sends her into a series of traumas to regain her emotional balance. With the help of victim advocates and victim services, she slowly finds her true self and moves her life forward to stand on her own.

 

• When children are involved, the escape to safety may mean filing for separation, divorce, and/or child custody. As a “Protective Mother”, the victim finds the Family Court system is difficult to maneuver and extremely confusing. She is recovering from years of Coercive Control Tactics and finds the court system unempathetic to her situation. She may initially appear less stable than her abusive partner.  Over time, we know that “Protective Mothers” establish a stable lifestyle and are ready and willing to parent fully their children. However, the court system may re-traumatize her by giving custody/primary parenting responsibilities to her abusive partner.  This trauma may go on for years until the children age out of the custody courts.

 

Addressing trauma issues for domestic violence victims is a specialized area of mental health practice. Develop the awareness, knowledge, and skills to competently meet the needs of these clients as a victim advocate, mental health professional, or professional working in the family court system.

 

Your next “Trauma Issues” course is scheduled for May 16, 18, 23, 25, 2011 — 2:00 P.M. Eastern; 12:00 P.M. (Noon) Mountain.  Go here to register now.

 

Serving your training needs virtually,

Dr. Debra and the House Of Peace Virtual Training Center Team

 

P.S. The more you are aware, know, and have the skills to meet the needs of domestic violence victims, the more you protect children.

 

P.P.S. Remember to register by midnight May 9, 2011 to attend “Trauma Issues”.

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