Victim of domestic violence escapes from offender, but loses her home. While the statistics for domestic violence were being verified last night in Colorado Springs, Carolyn was able to escape with her life and no physical injuries. Once again an offender escalated his violence when the victim moved from separation to filing for divorce. I can only imagine what was going on in the mind of her estranged husband as he made one more effort to control her. He managed to enter the home and eventually set it on fire from inside the house before he jumped from a second story window. His burns and injuries sent him to the University of Colorado Hospital in Denver where he is in critical condition.
With the focus of attention being on the offender, we often lose sight of the impact on the victim. In this case, Carolyn lost her home, her belongings, and whatever prized possessions that were in the house. More than the physical losses consider the emotional impact of this act of violence in her life. Carolyn is just coming to terms with ending an abusive relationship to maintain her own safety. She went from separation to filing for divorce. This means going from this point forward to rebuild her life without a violent offender. Now, she has the added responsibility to rebuild her physical safety and physical home from scratch.
Carolyn needs the support of family, friends, and her community to rebuild. How can her community come forward and help this formerly battered woman create a life where she feels safe? The initial outpouring of support will likely die down just about the time that reality hits Carolyn of the multiple losses she is experiencing. Local domestic violence victim services will walk with her through the court process and provide whatever help they can. Your donations to help this organization and specifically Carolyn can help pave the way for a smoother transition back to a life of safety and security. Carolyn needs emotional support as she grieves her losses and finds emotional balance again. Let Carolyn know she isn’t just a statistic that shows the most vulnerable time for a battered woman’s safety is when she leaves her partner for good.
Learn more about dynamics of domestic violence in House Of Peace training courses.
Dr. Debra,
What a powerful post. Most of us, especially if we have not personally been involved with domestic violence, have no concept of what the victim might be experiencing. She secured her physical bodily safety at the expensve of her physical comforts and shelter. Probably her financial situation is also not in good shape.
One of a perpetrator’s tactics is to demoralize his victim and manipulate that person into feeling worthless, under-valued and inadequate. That makes it difficult for the victim to secure meaningful and good paying employment.
My next concern is that if the victim does not receive adequate counseling and emotional support, he or she may be subject to the next abuser, waiting around the corner, someone who “acts” caring and nice at first and then gradually recreates the abusive scenario.
This is truly a very important problem that affects all sectors of society and needs to be openly addressed, discussed and handled.
Warmly,
Erica
http://www.CreateHealingAndLoveNow.com