Victims of domestic violence have a prominent relationship between their childhood history of victimization and adult victimization. We find many domestic violence victims who relate witnessing domestic violence of their mother. In addition, there is a significant history among domestic violence victims being abused during childhood. Victimization can be any form of child abuse: physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and/or neglect. The words of Dorothy Law Nolte (1972) “Children Learn What They Live” are very true for this group of children.
Often, children who grow up in violent and abusive homes living with all types of coercive control think this is normal. They are unconsciously drawn to those types of relationship partners as adults. As part of treatment for victims, we must offer healing tools to children as well as adults.
One method incorporated in trauma-based treatments is journaling. In my experience working with adults and children abused in childhood, I found a guided form of journaling works best. The form of guided journaling that helps victims transform their lives is “Transformational Journaling™”. This process was developed as part of my counseling practice for my clients.
In my recent review of the literature addressing domestic violence related to child custody, I was introduced to a special group of “Courageous Kids” who wrote their stories of being placed in the custody of their abusive parent (primarily fathers). Their stories inspired me to develop a book especially to help children in similar situations to use “Transformational Journaling™” techniques to help them on their healing journey. “Through a child’s voice: “Transformational Journaling™” is being prepared for launch in early July 2011 in connection with my presentation at the Sex Offender Management Board annual conference in Breckenridge, Colorado. You can keep up with prelaunch activities here.
Check out the “Transformational Journaling™” workbook for adults abused as children “From Darkness to Light: Your Inner Journey”. This workbook guides adults through the transformational journaling™ process to re-create their lives through conscious choice. This book is also highly recommended for self- defending victims by Victoria Youngblood, M.A., CAC III, Approved Domestic Violence Offender Treatment Provider.
Helping children heal is just one of the areas professionals need to understand in greater depth related to domestic violence and abuse. Increase your understanding of “Victim Dynamics” and “Offender Self-Management” in our upcoming courses in July. Late summer and fall course schedules will be available soon. Keep checking back for those schedules on our registration page.
Serving your training needs virtually,
Dr. Debra and the VTC Team
P.S. Be sure to plan your registration for 7 days prior to the course start date.
P.P.S. Register now for your courses starting July 18 and 19.
Dr. Debra,
It is so true that children who grow up in abusive families often are attracted to abusive partners in later life. In fact, if they connect with a gentle and loving partner they may actually view that person as weak and not acceptable. When our early caretakers are manipulative and controlling, we may grow up believing that this is the right way, the best way, even the only way to be.
In my counseling sessions and Rubenfeld Synergy mind-body therapy, clients often uncover those beliefs and patterns that have perpetuated old abuse dynamics.
The next step is to face those old memories, get support in your current life, journal about it, have private counseling and peer group support sessions, and so much more.
Dr. Debra, your new ebook will be helping so many children (and their parents) to begin the process of healing from abuse.
Dr. Erica